Wasted Words: Inspired by Jane Austen's Emma (The Austens Book 1) by Staci Hart

Wasted Words: Inspired by Jane Austen's Emma (The Austens Book 1) by Staci Hart

Author:Staci Hart [Hart, Staci]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Staci Hart Novels
Published: 2016-05-19T00:00:00+00:00


15

CRAZY PANTS

Cam

I GLANCED OVER MY SHOULDER to look at the fridge, contemplating its contents for the hundredth time that night. It may as well have had a bomb in it.

My phone sat on the shelf between the milk and the kimchi, where it had been since I’d walked in the door. It was for the safety of my budding relationship that I deposited it in its cold quarters, a place where it would be safe from my fingers, which itched even now to check for messages or fire off an awkward text.

I’d like to tell you I’m not this neurotic all the time, but it would be a lie. I’d been thinking about Tyler all day, but I hadn’t heard from him at all. I sent him a text, and he didn’t respond, and my brain couldn’t maintain its chill.

Now, don’t look at me like that — I knew he had a crazy day ahead of him, but like I’d told Tyler — I had an overeactive imagination, and between that and my anxiety about what was going on between us, I was basically a wreck. My thoughts through the day went something like this:

I can’t wait to hear from him.

I’m sure he’s just super busy.

He’ll text any minute now.

He’s probably dead.

No, he’s definitely in Adrienne’s office, banging her on her gigantic power desk.

Stop being crazy.

I bet he’s been thinking about you like you’ve been thinking about him.

Maybe he got in an accident and has amnesia and will never remember kissing you ever again.

So I put my phone in the fridge.

It hadn’t really helped. Neither had my book, which was sitting in my lap, ignored.

I’d like to say I had no idea why I was so twisted up about Tyler, but it would be a lie. It wasn’t like I hadn’t had boyfriends before, but I usually only dated my equals. Especially after Will. But I told myself again that Tyler was different, and by rule, I should let him in. I trusted him, I really did. But years of working against doing the very thing I found myself doing wasn’t doing me any favors.

The scale didn’t feel so even when it came to Tyler, and that anxiety I’d felt with Will was as fresh and tender as it had been that day all those years ago. Because I didn’t know if I could handle Tyler leaving me with as much grace as I had Will.

I smiled wryly at myself — I’d always prided myself on being a chill girlfriend, never needy with my man, not caring if the guy I was dating had plans, but here I found myself, having to hide my phone so I wouldn’t obsessively stare at it or worse: send him some crazy-shit message.

I sighed and sank into the couch, fiddling with Tyler’s bracelet, wishing I had someone to talk me down. My best friend was Jane, who I hadn’t seen since Christmas. She was so busy these days with two babies under three that she went hard all day and was passed out by nine every night.



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